At what point after meeting someone new is the appropriate time to ask their age?
If you are in your twenties, you really don’t care, and you’re happy to tell the world “I’m only 25!” (I secretly envy you for that ? )
If you are in your thirties, you ask with no problems because you quickly do the math in your head: how you can get married and have 2.4 children during your prime fertility days.
Now you’re in my age group, where most of us divorcees are. It’s a tricky group! Some of us still have kids at home, some of us don’t. Some have kids that are 10, 15, 19 or all three. So, now you have to ask yourself, do you want to be a Mom or a Dad to two or three more kids? Are you ready for your dinner table to be filled with eight family members when everyone is home? Is that a blessing to you?
If you’ve been following me, you know I raised an amazing son pretty much on my own. I was the Soccer Mom, lunch maker, help out at school-er, T-ball coach, et cetera. A 110% Mom, and I loved every second of it!
Fast forward, and as I dropped off my son at college, I both cried and smiled, because I had entered into retirement. Yes, I still work everyday! But I was retired from being a full time Mom. Don’t get me wrong, I will always be there for him, but he has his own apartment and life now. Do I really want to come out of retirement?
Would you?
If you fall in love with someone you fall in love with the children too. These are definitely questions you need to ask yourself before you ask the dreaded question “How old are you?” Why ask the question if your not going to date them anyway?!
Let’s jump to the next two decades. The 50’s and the 60’s! Seventy percent just don’t care. If there is attraction and chemistry…Let’s Go! The others are men that will only date women half their age. And women that want to date someone close to their age know that men don’t live as long as them. Honesty, this is one of my fears, and I’m not even in this age bracket. It’s a proven fact that we live longer. Sorry guys!
So, when is it appropriate to ask for someone’s age?
When it is truly the person you are looking for, and you want to invest time.
This means you need to know what you are looking for. Make a list of your perfect mate. Really! This helps! Do it after reading this. Just write down everything you would love to see in your perfect mate. Put the musts at the top of list. Maybe it’s non-smoker or loves dogs. Once you meet someone start checking things off your list. If you have over half checked off, you’re doing great!
If she really likes you, you will never have to ask. She will volunteer the information when its appropriate, because she wants you to know. That’s when you know you are doing all the right things.
Happy dating!
Rita Jane
4 Responses
Its hard to find someone who in some shape way or form that doesn’t compare you to an ex. Every day for 7 years I was compared to Al. Al did this, Al did that., but heaven forbid you mention the mother of your children.
I just want to meet someone who wants to look at the rest of life as an new adventure, find a common ground( yes EVERYONE has one) compromise, spontaneity, etc.
Age? I think you should ask in a round about way( find out when graduated then do the math) keep giving small surprises no matter how silly , music (no better common ground than this, most important— laugh.
Retirement as a mom that will NEVER happen. Your son will need mom for the rest of his life. Sure your role has slowed down , but its being channeled in other supporting avenues in his life.
Love the Mom comment Warren, thank you. I’m sorry you have run into being compared, truly unfortunate that they never healed from their previous relationship. Maybe there are some round about ways to ask about age but don’t ask the graduation question. We know what you’re doing! Good Luck to you.
Rita, fantastic wow you blow me away. This is so cool that your so in touch with the feelings of others. I think you knocked it out of the park with this blog. If I can ever help to do set up or transpatation for someone to get to a meet let me know. I love the Ideal of helping people too. Thats what makes me happy. Keep going you might be able to start this in other cities too. Well keep up the good work and I’m happy for you. Florida Doug….
I truly appreciate your feed back, thank you. We are always looking for help to get people out and offline! I will definitely keep you in mind. As for going into other cities…that has always been the plan 😉
Take Care Doug.