Last week my older brother put up on the screens at the bowling alley in big print “HAPPY BIRTHDAY RITA!!” I told him it was cute, but now take it down. He didn’t so I had someone else do it. He wasn’t happy with me. The next day I text him saying my birthday is hard for me.
He reminded me that birthdays are a celebration of life and I shouldn’t be quiet about them. I get that, I really do. But being alone everyday, somethings really get to you, and birthdays have a funny way of reminding us of how alone we are. His response was “I don’t understand, you have family and friends that love you dearly.” He’s right, I do! And I consider myself very blessed. My family is my rock, always has been and always will be.
He just doesn’t get the loneliness part. Why would he? He’s been married for thirty years this March, so being alone is something he wouldn’t understand. Not like us, where the nights are quiet and we are always wanting to go places, but don’t because we don’t have anyone to go with.
He did get me through my slump though, and I love him for that. He has also reminded me of things I talk about to other singles on a daily bases and that sometimes I need to be reminded too.
So, here are my 5 Reminders on how to be a Happy while being Single :
- Understand you’re not alone. With family and friends, you are never alone, but also knowing that almost half the population is single: that’s a lot of people! Just knowing I’m not the only one trying to find Mr. Right, (or if you read my blogs Mr. Baseball ?) is comforting. When you think about the millions of other singles just like you trying to do it all, work, kids, pay the bills, juggle the world alone…somehow you realize you are apart of an elite group of hard workers that don’t quit. Be proud of that!
- Be Healthy. Eating the right foods and staying active helps your mindset. I’m not saying you have to join a gym and run 3 miles a day, Lord knows I don’t. I’m saying being healthy helps you physically and mentally. Making sure your cortisol levels (stress levels) are in check and balanced. We all know that when you feel good, you look good. You walk with a little more confidence, maybe just enough more confidence for you to finally say hello to the cute person sitting at the coffee shop.
- Have Hope. You have to understand that in do time your special person is going to walk into your life. Maybe that special person isn’t ready yet, maybe you’re really not. Maybe it will be tomorrow, maybe it will be in two months. You have to have hope that it’s all going to work out for the best and at the perfect time. Hope and Faith are two words I say often.
- Be Active. I hear this way to often: “I’ll never find someone.” “All the good ones are gone.” It’s too late for me.” No, no and no!! I talk to an equal amount of men and women… they all say this!! The fact that both sexes are saying this to me drives me nuts! These are excuses we have come up with so we don’t have to do the work. When was the last time you asked someone out? When was the last time you had a date? Studies have shown that the average single person hasn’t had a real date in two years. Two years! We need to start putting ourselves out there and being accountable for our lives. Ask yourself what you have done lately to really put yourself out there and I don’t mean you signed up to an online dating site because we all know you will never follow through with it. Just talk to people! Stop going through the drive-through to get your cup of coffee, take a walk at the park, meet up with some friends.
- Wear your Offline Connections Logo. With the pin or bracelet, you have a tool that shows you are single. Married people wear a wedding band every day, we wear the logo. It’s just that simple. Wear it on your jacket while you go about your day, keep your eyes open for someone else wearing one. It’s an instant conversation starter that never fails. If you’re the type of person that has a hard time starting a conversation, then let the pin do all the work. Let 2020 be the year you find LOVE!
“Our rewards in life will always be in exact proportion as our contribution.” Earl Nightingale